Oh Internet

Robot wins, because Robot can crush puny human hand into thin, squidgy flipper incapable of forming your silly “rock”, “paper” or “scissors” salutes.

U.S. scientist Craig Venter claims to have created the first artificial life form. The joyous, bodyless future where we all scoot around as jet-powered brains-in-jars is surely just around the corner.
Guardian - 06/10/2007
Mr Venter told the Guardian he thought this landmark would be “a very important philosophical step in the history of our species. We [...]

The Daily Telegraph sez: Do not spurn gifts from twitchy Japanese office workers
A disgruntled Japanese worker smashed up his employer’s office in a fit of pique after his boss ignored his gift of sweets.
An Osaka court was told that the 31-year-old man, who worked for an online clothing sales company, had given the company president [...]

… but were afraid to ask: (Click for bigger)

AP - 28/09/2007
It sounds like science fiction but it’s true: A killer amoeba living in lakes enters the body through the nose and attacks the brain where it feeds until you die.
Even though encounters with the microscopic bug are extraordinarily rare, it’s killed six boys and young men this year. The spike in cases has [...]

*Ahem* Yes, since you ask, I have been offline for a while. Damned stupid ISPs… Damned stupid wireless networks… Damned stupid too much work to care about sorting it out.
Well, anyway, now that I’m back: Have a picture of an enormous crab.

BBC News - 31/08/2007

An enormous spider web has been found at Lake Tawakoni State Park, Texas, US.
It is not the work of one giant spider - rather, millions of small ones have been spinning away and now it is twice the size of a football field.
Park rangers are not sure why the spiders have joined [...]

For the record, on my personal list of non-favoured ways to die, “Killed, eaten and turned into a habitat by your own collection of highly-deadly creepy-crawlies” features quite prominently.
Digital Journal - 03/08/2007
Mark Voegel, 30, was found dead in his Dortmund, Germany apartment. His body was draped in spider webs and more than 200 spiders, several [...]

OM NOM NOM NOM

Guardian - 16/08/2007

This map shows air pollution around London, where dirtier air is red or yellow, and cleaner air is blue or green. Hopes that an interactive version could be put online have been dashed by Ordnance Survey.
After a year of negotiations, academic geographers have conceded defeat in their attempt to find a way to [...]

Via Cluster:

Wellington Grey, a high school physics teacher, has an entertaining but deeply depressing rant about the state of physics education in the UK today.
He even supplies an alternative exam, usable if things carry on the way they’re going:
The wave equation is Ʋ = ƒ λ

How does that make you feel?
What do you think [...]

Kimura beverages comes up with the perfect summertime drink (well, for this abortive attempt at a summer, anyway): Curry and Wasabi flavour sodas.

Given that the Cerne Abbas giant was mostly likely a piss-take on some neighbouring settlement in the first place, I thought the whole Giant Homer Simpson thing was pretty funny.
Then Ann Bryn-Evans - a district manager for The Pagan Federation for fuck’s sake - piped up with this:
“I’m amazed they got permission to do something [...]

I think the opening sentence in this article is the best thing I’ve ever read on the BBC:

British forces have denied rumours that they released a plague of ferocious badgers into the Iraqi city of Basra.
Word spread among the populace that UK troops had introduced strange man-eating, bear-like beasts into the area to sow panic.
But [...]