You Thought You Had a Rough Night?
At this time of year, it can be helpful to trawl the web looking for stories which make your own New Years misdemeanors seem less embarrassing:
It is a question which might baffle the greatest minds in detective fiction, Father Brown, say, or Brother Cadfael: what happened to the Bishop of Southwark last Tuesday night? Was he mugged on the way home to Tooting from a pre-Christmas party at the Irish embassy? Or was he found wandering in a confused state in Crucifix Lane, near his cathedral, having supped not wisely, but too well?
The Rt Rev Tom Butler, 66, one of the Church of England’s most senior bishops and a pillar of Thought for the Day on the BBC Today programme, says he has no idea. Others say he was seen sitting in the back of a Mercedes chucking children’s toys out of the window and announcing: “I’m the Bishop of Southwark. It’s what I do.”
Last night the bishop - who earlier in the week told a congregation that he could not get his mitre on because of the lump on his head - told the Guardian he could not recollect what had happened. Police were informed the following day that his briefcase, spectacles, a mobile phone and papers were missing.
“The problem is, I don’t remember anything. This has been a difficulty from the start,” he said ruefully. “I told the police I arrived home without my briefcase and with bruising on my face and a gash on the back of my head. There was this story about me being in a car at London Bridge, which I can remember absolutely nothing about. I thought I was travelling home on public transport. I went to the doctor the next day and was told my injuries were consistent with a blow to the head, so I assumed I had been mugged, but that’s a supposition. I am hoping the police will be able to be clearer.”
What he can remember is attending the pre-Christmas reception at the Irish embassy near Buckingham Palace. These are events not noted for their abstemiousness. MPs have been known to leave on their hands and knees.