Adventures in Hyper-Caffeination
Carrying on from yesterday’s theme, this site shows you how much of your favourite caffeinated beverage you can drink before dying.
I’d love to have been able to run this on Fabio’s fabled New Year’s espresso of January 1st 2000. Created using a production line system at 5am in a kitchen seething with the squelchy remains of a staggering number of improvised cocktails (both spilled and recycled) on every surface and drunk in the hallway-come-livingroom surrounded by human debris in various states of unconsciousness, undress and near-death. The texture was close to river silt, and it tasted like eating pure coffee grounds. I had two large mugs of it and twenty minutes later I swear I could hear my heart beating a death-march rhythm. I could feel blood vessels pulsating, signifying that something was in immediate danger of rupture. I didn’t sleep properly for days afterwards, but at the time it felt like I was in touch with a dozen parallel universes. I don’t know if Fabio is even sure exactly how he managed to brew it.
There is a story to be written about that New Year’s party. Sadly though, it would only be of interest to me and maybe a dozen other people, various others would never speak to me again, and some would probably sue me. That coffee is the abiding memory of the night though, eclipsing even the hospitalizations, the mind crushing amount of cleaning the next day, and encountering at least a couple of people whom I’ll set on fire if we ever meet again. Anyway, that list would have a new champion if only we could have measured this stuff.