Oh Internet

A tiny little earthquake hits the country, and Britain springs into action to claim the dubious distinction of being even wussier than California.

The insurance industry is already covering its collective arse.

The populous overreacts somewhat.

Delicious cognitive dissonance upon seeing the word “epicentre” used to describe small-town Lincolnshire.

Quotes like “Student David Bates, 19, suffered a broken pelvis when he was pinned under masonry in his attic bedroom[...]“ just beg for elaboration.

People are already freaking out about potential aftershocks.

In summary: Britain is frustratingly mediocre. Who knows what we’ll do when London finally slips under the waves.

Superficial. A 2004 work by Michel de Broin. Hopefully well signposted as Art, lest ramblers think they’ve been caught by a Predator.

My god, it’s full of starsbeers.

Via Kung Fu Grippe: YouTube vids of Hüsker Dü playing at the Camden Ballroom (now Koko)

Just… completely magnificent. Parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.

WANT!

“The flat occupies part of the shared top floor of an existing Victorian mansion block. Our proposal extended the flat into the unused loft space above, creating a new bedroom level and increasing the floor area of the flat by approximately one third. We created a ’secret’ staircase, hidden from the main reception room, to access a new loft bedroom lit by roof lights. Limited by space, we melded the idea of a staircase with our client’s desire for a library to form a ‘library staircase’ in which English oak stair treads and shelves are both completely lined with books.”

I have no excuse for this, other than multi-layer parallax scrolling being the first “oh wow, new and shiny” bit of computer game tech I remember as a young ‘un.

So, with that in mind, go to this site and start resizing your browser window.

(And try to ignore the fact that it’s impossible to work out what the site is actually for, and that it’s taken the web 17 years to catch up with the Amiga.)

BBC News - 11/01/2008

A pair of twins who were adopted by separate families as babies got married without knowing they were brother and sister, a peer told the House of Lords.

A court annulled the British couple’s union after they discovered their true relationship, Lord Alton said.

The peer - who heard of the case from a judge who was involved - said the twins felt an “inevitable attraction”.

He said the case showed how important it was for children to be able to find out about their biological parents.

Details of the identities of the twins involved have been kept secret, but Lord Alton said the pair did not realise they were related until after their marriage.

… you start coding High-School-level physics routines incorrectly.

Ah, if only Newton could see me now. I’d get such a slap.

Update: aaaaaaaaaaand I have just managed to finally beat Raining Blood on hard mode in Guitar Hero 3. Yes, I do believe this evening’s intellectual level has been gauged.

The iPod, or any media player, really, could use a feature in its shuffle mode to allow you to tag a song as always being followed by a specific song of your choosing.

Most adjacent songs on albums don’t flow together so much that you’d notice or care, but when they do it’s horribly jarring when the merciless algorithm of the shuffle destroys your anticipation.

For example, iTunes doesn’t know, but I’d be happy to tell it, that “The Crane Wife 1&2″ has to be followed by “Sons and Daughters”. Just like I’d tell it that “Holland, 1945″ must be followed by “Communist Daughter”, that “The House That Guilt Built” has to be followed by “Happy”, and that “Middle” has to be followed by “Born in ‘69″ which has to be followed by “On a Rope”.

As you can see, I think about deeply, deeply important things when walking home from work, yes?

(Note: I would have posted mp3s for all of the above, but the last time I did something like that it got linked to on The Hype Machine, which blew through 4Gb of my account’s bandwidth in 12 hours and was quickly followed by an email from my hosting company detailing the frankly terrifying overage charges which would be applied if the situation were to continue…)

Dear Internet,

Please tell me, is this a spoof or not?

I honestly can’t tell any more. I think the web has finally broken my credulity gene.

Hema’s online catalogue frontpage is a marvellous Heath Robinson-y affair.

(Well, it might be rubbish if all you want is to check a price of something quickly, but Hema is so ubiquitous in the Netherlands that I doubt it makes much difference to their profit margins.)

Are you feeling overly happy right now? Slightly too optimistic about the general state of the human race? Then you’ll want to go and read “The 100 greatest quotes from fundamentalist Christian chat rooms”

You’ll laugh:

“I am a bit troubled. I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16 and I really don’t think he’s ready to date yet. What’s worse is that he’s sneaking some girl to his room behind my back. I need help, God! I want my son to stop being so secretive!”

…

“I can sum it all up in three words: Evolution is a lie”

You’ll cry:

“One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn’t possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it.”

…

“Gravity: Doesn’t exist. If items of mass had any impact of others, then mountains should have people orbiting them. Or the space shuttle in space should have the astronauts orbiting it. Of course, that’s just the tip of the gravity myth. Think about it. Scientists want us to believe that the sun has a gravitation pull strong enough to keep a planet like neptune or pluto in orbit, but then it’s not strong enough to keep the moon in orbit? Why is that? What I believe is going on here is this: These objects in space have yet to receive mans touch, and thus have no sin to weigh them down. This isn’t the case for earth, where we see the impact of transfered sin to material objects. The more sin, the heavier something is.”

You’ll, uh, maybe call the police, actually:

“A woman wants to abort a rape child? She should have thought of that before she walked down that dark alley without a male prescence, not to mention she should have thought before putting on revealing attire.”

PR Newswire - 10/01/2008

An official report from People for The Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), submitted nine months after a Virginia government agency’s deadline, shows that the animal rights group put to death more than 97 percent of the dogs, cats, and other pets it took in for adoption in 2006. During that year, the well-known animal rights group managed to find adoptive homes for just 12 pets. The nonprofit Center for Consumer Freedom (CCF) is calling on PETA to either end its hypocritical angel-of-death program, or stop its senseless condemnation of Americans who believe it’s perfectly ethical to use animals for food, clothing, and critical medical research.

Not counting animals PETA held only temporarily in its spay-neuter program, the organization took in 3,061 “companion animals” in 2006, of which it killed 2,981. According to Virginia’s Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services (VDACS), the average euthanasia rate for humane societies in the state was just 34.7 percent in 2006. PETA killed 97.4 percent of the animals it took in. The organization filed its 2006 report this month, nine months after the VDACS deadline of March 31, 2007.

…

“PETA raised over $30 million last year,” Martosko added, “and it’s using that money to kill the only flesh-and-blood animals its employees actually see. The scale of PETA’s hypocrisy is simply staggering.”

Under normal circumstances, I never make New Years resolutions, but this time I’m going to make an exception: In 2008, if I happen to meet Jackie Ballard, I will punch her in the face. Possibly repeatedly.

The Times Online - 23/12/2007

DEAF parents should be allowed to screen their embryos so they can pick a deaf child over one that has all its senses intact, according to the chief executive of the Royal National Institute for Deaf and Hard of Hearing People (RNID).

Jackie Ballard, a former Liberal Democrat MP, says that although the vast majority of deaf parents would want a child who has normal hearing, a small minority of couples would prefer to create a child who is effectively disabled, to fit in better with the family lifestyle.

Facebook 40 years on - from JohnCow.us